Who can help a poor mole?

Oi am sorry to say that the inaugural meeting of the OUSS was not quite the great success Oi was anticipating. For a start the number of students who turned up was very disappointing. Oi blame the modern educational system for not encouraging them to take a proper interest in insectivore culture. It also possible that the plates of “dips” (tastily involving worms and other invertebrates) were a factor - Oi was very surprised at the negative reaction of many of the students, especially the female ones. Nobody at all paid the subscription, with the result that the Shrews are still eating a poor Mole out of house and home – and how much longer will the Boy fail to notice the vast number of rodents occupying his wardrobe?

Worst of all, the lack of income from the event has put me in a difficult position with the University with regard to certain fees due for the venue. Perhaps Oi was a little ambitious hiring the Sheldonian Theatre - but Oi needed something that would fit in with moi robes o' state. Now they have slapped a writ on me - who on earth can Oi turn to to help me out of this fix?